Grief & Dying - Letters We Never Sent [01]
Mom Writes A Goodbye Letter To Her Children Before Her Death
The Background as Given to Letters We Never Sent:
Madison and her two brothers were 7,5, and 2 when their mom died of cancer. As Madison wrote,
“We were too young to understand the letter; however, my father read it to us only once at the time. I think I grasped it, though I had forgotten all about it within a year or so. I can’t even tell you if my memories of my Mother in the hospital are real memories or made up. Mom was a dream after a year or so. But she wrote to us as if we were adults. I think she knew we would only understand her letter when we grew up. Dad put the letter aside with a few of my mother’s favorite things. A few years ago, when I was 19, I rediscovered it after Dad passed away. It is my most cherished possession.”
Madison requested we run this through Grammarly, but editing raw emotion is unnecessary. The letter below is Madison’s mother penned goodbye to her children.
With Madison's permission, we had to remove certain identifying information from the original letter.
The Letter Never Sent & Rediscovered:
My dear children,
If you are reading this, or your father is reading this to you, it means my time on this earth has come to an end. Although we have had many conversations about my illness over the last few months, I doubt you understood what was happening, and there are some final things I wanted to share with you.
I am so proud of each one of you and the kind, thoughtful children you are. Even now, as I battle this terrible disease, my heart swells with love and gratitude when I think of the joy you have brought to my life. I could not have asked for better children. You have been my greatest blessing.
I am sorry, but I must leave you sooner than any parent should. The thought of not being here for your school plays, your first loves, weddings, grandchildren, and other milestones breaks my heart. I hate cancer for robbing us of what should have been. Although I won't physically be by your side, I will always remain in spirit, cheering you on and guiding you when life gets hard.
I know you will miss me terribly when I am gone. I wish I could take away the grief and sadness you will feel. However, you are young, and I will soon be a distant memory. My only advice is to lean on each other and your father during this difficult transition. Don't be afraid to cry, laugh about memories we shared, or even get angry. All emotions are valid when processing loss. As you grow older, surround yourselves with people who genuinely love and support you.
Most of all, don't let my passing prevent you from embracing life's beauty. Keep pursuing your hopes and dreams. Fall madly in love, nurture meaningful friendships, and travel the world. Laugh loudly and often. Be kind to yourselves and others on this complicated journey. I'll rest peacefully knowing my children are out there living their best lives and making the most of the time given.
Although cancer may cut my life shorter than expected, I have no regrets. Being your mom has been the role of a lifetime. From ballet recitals to baseball games and college tours to first apartments, we've shared many incredible adventures. I wouldn't trade a single minute. Thank you for giving my years purpose and meaning.
I am no longer afraid of death itself. I draw comfort from believing I'll still somehow be near, even if not physically present. And I hope decades from now, when you finally join me on the other side, I can embrace you once more. Until then, live fully and remember how much I love you. My heart remains yours forever.
All my love,
Mom
Beautiful letter! It manages to convey rather concisely, the regrets of not sharing more of life with those she loves. It also enjoins them to live theirs the best they can, not with her ghost, but rather with her spirit beyond the visible through authentic memories of rainy and sunny days alike. Thank you!